A Sense of Accomplishment
A Sense of Accomplishment
by Jim Giorgi
My student, Kate, had something to share with me recently. She wanted to discuss a passage she read in a novel that resonanted with her and she wanted to get my perspective on it. We also talked briefly about her personal experiences and I agreed with her that it was not only a powerful passage in the novel but that her vantage point after personal experience was sound.
The passage involves gaining a sense of accomplishment in life. Kate wrote an article to share regarding not only the passage she read, but how she felt about it and our discussion as well.
I was reading R.A. Salvatore’s Siege of Darkness and came across a passage that really resonated with me. In it, the main character talks about how he doesn’t want a friend to have to go through something he thinks is dangerous for her.
“In the heart, there is no sting greater than watching the struggles of one you love, knowing that only through such strife will that person grow and recognize the potential of his or her existence. Too many thieves…believe the formula for happiness lies in an unguarded treasure trove. Too many…seek to circumvent the years of study required for true power...All of them are doomed to fail in the true test of happiness. There is one ingredient missing…a sense of accomplishment. It is the most important ingredient in any rational being’s formula for happiness. It is the element that builds confidence and allows us to go on to other, greater tasks. It is the item that promotes a sense of self-worth, that allows any person to believe there is value in life itself, that gives a sense of purpose to bolster us as we face life’s unanswerable questions…So it was with (her)…this battle had found her, and she had determined to fight it. Had I followed my protective instincts…I would have, in effect, failed to trust in her, failed to respect her individual needs and her chosen destiny, and thus, I would have stolen a bit of her freedom…How ironic it is that our instincts often run exactly opposite from what we truly desire for those we love.”
My mind wandered to my own struggles in life and the struggles of my loved ones. I was in an ill-advised, long term relationship that tested me severely. I sunk in a deep depression and I avoided my family and cut ties with dear friends out of shame. My grandmother, who had been through some similar struggles, was there to advise me and support me – she was really the only one from my family and friends from home (I had moved away) that I would talk to about anything that was truly going on. Later, when I reconnected with my friends and I was able to discuss some of my pain with my parents, they had similar things to tell me.
My mom told me that several times, she and my dad were thisclose to buying plane tickets to come and bring me home – to forcibly remove me from the situation that they thought was absolutely killing me. It was my grandmother who advised them time and again that I was going to get through this and that they needed to trust me and support me from home and let me go through this struggle.
My dear friends, one who had already gone through his own deep struggles and his sister who had witnessed and supported him through it, were also thisclose to getting in his truck and coming to my rescue. One night he told me that he wanted to save me from my life and that his sister wouldn’t let him. I told him gently, “oh honey, I don’t know that I would have left with you at that point in my life. I love that you wanted to save me, but I saved myself.” Recently, I was talking to his sister and she mentioned an expression in Latin; “Alis Volat Propriis” which translates to “she flies with her own wings”. It totally summed up how I felt about saving myself and helped me understand why she would let me go and trusting that I’d be smart enough to get through it and come around eventually.
I recently went through another struggle in my work. I couldn’t fix it by staying so I walked away from it. Another dear friend cautioned me that I should have stayed and fought harder, that he would have helped me fight if I had only confided in him before it was too late. And he cautioned that, in leaving, I was trying to make the best of my feelings of failure. I didn’t completely believe him until I read that passage and understood that he was telling me, really, that I was going to be missing a sense of accomplishment by leaving rather than toughing it out. I actually have gotten a lot of great things by leaving, such as learning how to ask for what I need, how to stand up for myself and I have found a new career path that I don’t think I would have stumbled on by staying.
Of course, I wanted to talk about this to Sensei Giorgi because while reading this passage, a few things in my mind shifted. I had never thought of my struggles as bringing about a sense of accomplishment. I still struggle with self-confidence issues that he’s helping me with via EFT and I’m helping myself with through making better choices. I would have thought that perhaps, by going through that mess years ago and coming out stronger, I would have truly had a better sense of self-worth that later bullying would not have damaged. I would have been wrong on that score and apparently my issues with self-worth are deeper than I realized. EFT has been a powerful tool, as well as having the support of truly amazing friends and family.
When I talked with Sensei Giorgi, he agreed that it’s not only a sense of accomplishment but also wisdom that you miss out on when someone comes to your aid in such a way to remove you from the struggle. Things remain unresolved for you and you are “doomed” in a sense to repeat the issue again. He mentioned that in his book, Between Yesterday and Tomorrow, he has a passage where he talks about enlightenment. In it, he speaks wisely that it’s not about winning the lottery but feeling the day before you do as if you already did.
And really, that’s where I’m at. Even though I struggle with self-confidence, I am consciously fighting that battle. I’m in a place in my life right now where so many good things are going on and are connecting for me. I enjoy the journey of life – the chance to get up in the morning and see the sun rise, the chance to share a laugh so big and long my sides ache, the chance to have a Light Bulb Moment, the chance to share a wordless conversation looking into the eyes of a cherished friend – and sometimes it does feel like I’ve already won the lottery.
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2011




I want to share with you my story of The Gift of the Katana as a way to demonstrate what I am teaching you about the Power of Intention.
I have been very busy this last month making videos for "


I recently reminisced about the unusual tale of how I was awarded one of the most coveted symbols of advanced athletic prowess at Spellman-the varsity pin. My homeroom during freshman year was 1F, in room 108, and Brother Brian (Kelly) was our homeroom teacher (and also our Biology and Religion teacher as well). Those of you who remember me will recall that I was about as far from the athletic type as one could get. My elementary school, St. Benedict's, had no athletic program at all, and so for the first 8 years of my education, physical education of any kind was nonexistent. My parents were not "sports-minded" and did not encourage me to join local sports teams of any kind. So I had no experience with competitive sports. One activity I did enjoy through my youth, though, was swimming. When I got to Spellman in the Fall of 1967, I figured that it would be a good thing to "round out" my program by including some athletic activity, and since swimming was something that I had at least some familiarity with, I decided to join the Swimming Team.
I have worked with very young children since 1982, as a psychological consultant to preschool programs. My job was to evaluate preschool-age children (between the ages of two and a half to 5 years) who were suspected by their parents, or pediatricians, or other early childhood intervention organizations, of having significant developmental delays.
An analogy can be made between meditative practice and a whitewater rafting excursion. Most people are familiar with scenes of the Grand Canyon. The Colorado River, which flows at its bottom, is as turbulent and dangerous a watercourse to navigate as any in the world. The river comprises stretches of incredibly dangerous, chaotic rapids punctuated at intervals by stretches of placid, pond-like areas on which one may lazily drift among awe-inspiring scenery.
In 2002, when I was working with a previous incarnation of the soap company in which I am now a partner, my business partner, Kaylin, mentioned to me that one of the customers of our nontoxic soap was the laboratory of the Language Research Center at Georgia State University in Atlanta. They were using our soap to clean the lab and living quarters of the Bonobo Chimpanzees with whom they were doing anthropological research in the development of language and speech in primates. One of the researchers, Holly, had heard of our soap and because it was so effective and yet still totally nontoxic, she wanted the safest product possible to use with the chimps in their living and working quarters. Kaylin told me that Holly had called to say that they were about to run out of soap and needed to order more. It happened that I was going to be driving to New York via Atlanta in a couple of days, and Kaylin suggested that I could drop off the soap directly to Holly instead of having it shipped up to her. I readily agreed.
I have a very dear friend who is a Kiwi. No, I don’t mean he’s a small, odd-looking flightless bird or a fuzzy, juicy green-fleshed fruit. Richard was born and raised in New Zealand. I met Richard during an extended trip to Maui in 1996, where he was studying to become a Feldenkrais (a form of bodywork) practitioner, and we have been friends since. At the time he was a professional musician, a tympanist (kettledrum player) in the Auckland Philharmonia. In 1998, the Philharmonia hired a new concertmaster, a French-Canadian violinist (and what a marvelous musician she is) from Montreal named Marcelle. Richard’s and Marcelle’s professional relationship in the orchestra grew into a friendship and very quickly from there they realized they were meant for each other.
The Lord’s Prayer is the perfect, complete statement of existence, of how the universe and all creation “is” and “works”. It may be understood in the following manner:
About a year and a half ago, during the early months of my giving dharma talks at the Buddha Center on Second Life (the online virtual world in which you may create a whole other “life” for yourself in cyberspace), one of the frequent participants at my talks was a Second Life avatar named “India Susa”. In conversations we had both during and after the dharma talks, I found her to be a very great-hearted, insightful, and compassionate lady, and always enjoyed our exchanges. After several months, she notified all of her Second Life friends that real-life responsibilities were requiring more time than they had previously, and decided that she needed to reduce drastically the amount of time she was spending online in her virtual identity. I missed her attendance at my talks and also our conversations, but feeling as I did that real-life is always the priority, I understood and endorsed her decision.
I was asked to comment on the prayer of that great Buddhist teacher St. Francis, and this prayer which I say every morning. I would add this line in this prayer : "and it is in gratefulness that we are gifted in every moment."
As a Shodan (First Degree Black Belt), I came to personally understand the anecdote that states that when you become a black belt you are ready to truly begin to learn Aikido . My training has been enhanced greatly with the addition of principles from the Daito Ryu Aikijujitsu system. Sensei Todd González introduced me to the principles of small circle leading and recently Sensei Jim Giorgi who legitimized these principles as having a valid home in Nihon Goshin Aikido. 


I recently sent a copy of Between Yesterday and Tomorrow to a dear friend who is a wonderful spiritual teacher in the Siddha Yoga lineage. He agreed to review the book and sent me the following comment referring to a sentence I had written in one of the chapters of the book (dealing with the Continuum Concept). The sentence he commented on reads as follows:
At a recent meeting of the Integral Spirituality group that I host, I read the chapter on "Love, Relationships, Sex and Compassion from my book Between Yesterday and Tomorrow. In one paragraph, I referred to a quote from a spiritual teacher that was related to me by Stewart Emery (creator of the Actualizations workshop) in 1983. Although Stewart gave the source of the quote at the time, my memory is vague about the source. I have an intuition that it was Swami Muktananda, but I am not completely sure.
“The Messiah will come only when he is no longer necessary; he will come only on the day after his arrival; he will come, not on the last day, but on the very last.” ~ Franz Kafka, Parables and Paradoxes
My student Kate has been working with me not only on the mat in Integral Aikido but with EFT. She's been working on building her own Integral Transformative Path before we met through some intellectual and spiritual pursuits. One of the things that she's finding on her personal path is happiness through writing and she often shares pieces with me that involve our work together.
John Begue, one of the students at the Port Allen NGA dojo who studies under Sensei Troy Maranto, saw this question on the System of Strategy Facebook page of James Williams, Sensei. From reading my books, John knew that I had some knowledge in this area of interest and referred the question to me for my opinion. Below I have reproduced the exchange as it took place on the System of Strategy page on Facebook over the past few days.
One of my students posed some questions to me recently regarding moving on from toxic relationships. Moving out of the relationship to a place of healing is challenging, often dishearteningly so in the beginning stages. Working through the emotional pain is an individual path but there are some powerful tools to be found in mindfulness, meditation and EFT. Moving on from any negative, emotionally charged situation takes time and work to heal. The important point to remember is to be mindful of triggers that bring unnecessarily negative emotions so that you can continue your path to break the attachment and the hold over your daily life. What follows here is our email conversation addressing the challenges presented after the dissolution of a relationship: